I'm not going to lose you
by chez1991
Summary: What if Arthur managed to hold on? What if Merlin got his king to the Sidhe in time? 5x13
1. Chapter 1

My 'Arthur lives' story. I know it been done quite a bit before, but I wanted to take a crack at it.

A big special thank you to my beta for putting up with me. Shadowdragon1317 is fantastic and she makes my stories so much better.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

**I'm not going to lose you – Chapter 1**

"Goodbye, Morgana." the words flew effortlessly from his lips, but Merlin was terrified at seeing his former friend's blood seeping pools of red onto his fingers. He hated the driving force that drove this kind soul into such disarray.

Arthur continued to stare at Morgana's body as Merlin came over and hooked Arthur's arm around his shoulder. He turned his head to Merlin. "You brought peace at last."

"Come on." Merlin pulled Arthur up and they stumbled through the woods. The birds shrieked in horror, with the bones of the trees clanking together in a rattling pattern. The warlock hissed as he stumbles into a clearing, crashing to the floor in exhaustion. Merlin from carrying Arthur; and Arthur from succumbing to his injuries, the strength bleeding away like if sucked by a parasite. _The leech being the magic that I have pumping like blood through me. The magic I share with Kilgharrah._

"We have to make it to the lake." Merlin desperately panted, exhaustion pooling over him in large waves. He choked it back like a bitter tonic and kept at dragging the dying prat with him.

"Merlin, not without the horses." Arthur replied breathlessly. "We can't, it's too late. It's too late..." he breathed, collapsing in a pile of shivers.

Merlin panted again, out of breath from carrying Arthur for so long. God, he was tired and all he wanted was to sleep away a month, but he was going to get to Avalon. His best friend _was _going to live, even if Merlin's life would be exchanged.

"All your magic, Merlin, and you can't save my life." Arthur light-heartedly joked, but the tone surprised him by sounding commanding and bitter.

"I can." He said defiantly, eyes glassy from holding his tears back, "I'm not going to lose you." Destiny be dead for all the warlock cared. Mordred was playing his last game with Merlin, putting Emrys in a tight checkmate. But the Druid Boy wasn't going to win. Arthur wasn't going to die over Mordred's frivolous revenge.

Merlin laid Arthur gently on the ground, ignoring the King's insistence that he was dying, and shakily got to his feet. Merlin had never before felt so aged when he wasn't Dragoon. A thousand years had passed since Camlann. Arthur and himself were the only ones left, and Merlin felt his unshed tears leak from his lids.

_The dragon can save him. Kilgharrah has to! He must! _Desperation clawed at his heart, tearing it open and made Merlin feel as if he were bleeding with no wound. He was going to drown in it. But not before the warlock saw the King healed. He felt the power grow inside him and he roared louder than any dragon ever did. "O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup anakes!"

Arthur eyed Merlin through half open eyelids. Arthur couldn't feel even his own heartbeat, or the warmth of the foliage beneath him. But he did feel the shiver after Merlin had spoken. It sounded like a demon clawing its way upwards from Hell. "What did you just do?" he asked

"I called the great dragon." Merlin replied, scanning the skies, hoping for that familiar silhouette to come beat out of the distance.

"The great dragon is dead, Merlin." Arthur stated, "I killed him. Remember?" and he tried to smile, but Merlin could tell he was in pain.

Merlin just turned to look at Arthur knowingly. A blink and Arthur realized the message.

"So, I didn't kill him." Arthur stated simply, a sigh of exasperation hidden in the meaning behind the words said aloud. "Any more secrets, Merlin?"

Before Merlin could reply, a flapping sound could be heard in the distance. However, Merlin did notice the slightly off rhythm, which he knew was to do with the aging dragon's injured wing. Merlin just hoped Kilgharrah could last one more important journey.

Kilgharrah came into land, stumbling slightly and he lost his balance. "Ah, young warlock." He started, "I see King Arthur knows the truth about you, although, he does not seem to look too well, Merlin?" Kilgharrah inquired as he glanced in Arthur direction. "What is it you ask of me this time?"

Merlin glanced at Arthur who seemed to be getting paler by the second. "Kilgharrah. I would not have summoned you if there was any other choice. Mordred has stabbed him with a sword forged in a dragon's breath. Only the magic of the Sidhe in Avalon can save him." He turned to Kilgharrah, with such a pleading in his voice that he felt the tears glisten in the silvery light. "Please will you take us there?" He begged.

"Merlin, my time is almost upon me. It is a great deal you ask of me." replied Kilgharrah; the great dragon knew it wouldn't be much longer. It was only a matter of conserving his energy.

"I beg you Kilgharrah." Merlin said fearfully. "He doesn't have much time left."

Arthur stared up at the dragon. He had forgotten how large the creature was. This was the beast that had killed innocent people all for revenge. It had taken months to rebuild what he had destroyed. Yet here Merlin was, talking to the dragon as a friend. If he had had the energy, he would have interrogated Merlin right then and there. As it was, he felt too out of it to even see straight. Shapes danced on the edges of his peripheral vision.

"I see this means a lot to you, young warlock." Kilgharrah spoke tiredly "I will do as you ask, for the once and future king."

Kilgharrah, slowly with his creaking joints, knelt down on the ground to allow Merlin and Arthur to board his back. He would do this one last thing for Merlin, his kin, his magically bonded brother.

Arthur's eyes rolled to the back of his head as Merlin lifted him with his magic. It was much easier than dragging the king across the forest as Merlin had been earlier. "Hold on, Arthur!" he said willingly. "It won't be long now." Merlin positioned himself behind Arthur to support him. It wouldn't be much good if he let the prat fall off now.

Kilgharrah took off and Merlin had to grasp Arthur tightly as the dragon jolted to the side.

It wasn't long before Merlin could see the ancient isle in the mist of Avalon, the source of the Sidhe power that Gaius had told him about. They were Arthur's salvation. Only the Sidhe possessed the power to draw the fragment of sword away from Arthur's heart so that he may live.

Kilgharrah once again landed off balance, the time aided by the two passengers on his back. "You must be quick, young warlock." he began, "Time is of the essence."

Merlin took Arthur by under his arms and pulled him to the edge of the water. It only took a few moments before the leader of the Sidhe emerged.

"What is it you want from us, Emrys?" the leader asked.

"Please, you must help my friend" Merlin pleaded, "You must save him." Merlin looked worriedly down at Arthur. His breathing was becoming shallower as time wore on.

"And what will we get in return for using such powerful magic on your behalf?" the Sidhe questioned, "What will you do for us? You have wronged us in the past." two renegades and a corrupt king in power. He just was protecting himself and Arthur!

"Anything! I'll do anything, please!" begged Merlin. He could feel the burning of tears in his eyes. His fists clenched; magic swimming behind him to prepare himself if the deal goes awry.

"Anything?" the grin of the fairy creature was a twisted, snuggle-toothed version of a dog's.

"Be wary, young warlock." interrupted Kilgharrah, a growl beginning to rumble within the dragon's rusted throat. "You must be careful with what you say."

Merlin looked the Sidhe leader in the eye, calmness wrapping his facial expression in an unbreakable mask. "I promise you, no harm will come to any of you. Neither from me, or anyone. You will have the protection of Emrys." Merlin looked down at Arthur again, seeing his eyes flutter like a bird under their lids. "Will you save him?"

The leader looked to consider for a moment. To have a protection of Emrys was an offer he couldn't refuse. It would be foolish not to give into the warlock's demands. "We will do as you request. Stand back."

Merlin hesitated, not wanting to leave Arthur, his chest was barely moving now, but he reluctantly stepped away. What if went wrong?

Merlin felt the buzz of magic build up around him. Suddenly, a white light came from the lake and devoured Arthur until he could no longer be seen. Merlin fidgeted as he waited, leaning forward for just a glimpse of his king.

Slowly the light faded. "Emrys, it is done." Merlin heard as the Sidhe retreated "You must keep to your promise, or there will be consequences."

Arthur gasped as he took in a breath. He was staring at the sky and the suddenly Merlin face appeared from nowhere. "Merlin? What happened?"

"You're healed, Arthur!" Merlin said gleefully, the huge grin on his face that he was known for. He clasped Arthur in a hug so right that Arthur was choking on his own supply of oxygen.

"You did it?" asked Arthur in disbelief.

"I did it, dollophead." Merlin replied to which he got a thump on the head.

"Shut up, Merlin."

"Yes, sire."

Arthur abruptly jumped up. "We have to get back to Camelot." he said urgently "Guinevere!…"

"Kilgharrah!" Merlin turned as he called the great dragon.

"I'm sorry, Merlin" Kilgharrah said as he sagged to his knees. The foible that had begotten several months ago had grown into a constant strain to keep himself from the black void. Now he was ready. He hurt too much to carry on existing a half-life.

"That was my last journey."

"No!" said Merlin as he ran to Kilgharrah and put his hand on the dragon's nose, tears streaming down his face. Tentatively, the dragon nuzzled his warm scales into Merlin's hand like a cat. Life beyond death would certainly be boring without the young warlock beside him. His Dragon Lord had become his friend, one that will be impossible to replace. "Please don't leave me." Merlin whispered as the fire that had burned in the dragon's belly began to spark and die with its host's passing.

"Take care of Aithusa, Merlin. She needs you." Kilgharrah whispered, a ghost of the booming voice that had beckoned Merlin to that underground cave all those many years ago. For a dragon, when you blink a month passes, so their years aren't as long as humans would expect. But for the past couple, Kilgharrah had remembered every vivid detail from when a crisp afternoon breeze brushed along a trail of ivy spider-webbing overtop a tree trunk to the colours of a merlin bird's wing tips gently flapping against the sky. All because of Merlin, his Dragon Lord had made his freedom worth remembrance. Aithusa needed guidance, healing, a hand to gently guide her into her life. Merlin would do that and more.

"I will, I promise." Merlin swore. He kept his eyes shut; not wanting to see his friend's dying breath escape from between those old, scaly lips.

Kilgharrah's head came to rest on the ground. The fire blackened and withered until its ashes were only ghosts wrought upon the forest floor.

"Thank you, my friend" Merlin whispered in the dragon's ear. Kilgharrah began to feel his nerves go numb, and for once he was chilled to his wing bones. But then everything became so exquisite and beautiful. The perfect world, no pain. Only euphoria dripping from his veins. Kilgharrah clasped his wings in youthful enthusiasm. He soared like a bird, higher and higher until he touched the sun...

Silent screams louder than the roaring. The warlock was unsure about whether or not he could go on. For a moment, Merlin wanted to die along with Kilgharrah. But he couldn't.

Destiny wasn't kind enough for that mercy.

Merlin hastily rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt as he turned to Arthur.

"Come on, clotpole." Merlin spoke with hollowed words, but disguised with the familiar plaster smile that he'd long since perfected. His sadness so cleverly masqueraded, that even Gaius could be fooled.

Even after his secret was out in the open, more lies found their way into the open.

"Let's get you home."

Behind the pair of young men, the body of Kilgharrah was visited by a familiar crippled figure. Her splayed claw edged forward, putting it over the top of the older dragon's large talon. The white dragon cooed at the body, then set it alight in a flickery, white inferno.

**I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter, the next four are already, practically written so I hope to get the next one up soon. There is lot's to come. Chapter 4 is good one ;) but you'll have to wait for it, I don't want to ruin it.**

**Please review, I'd love to hear your feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Thank you to all of you who reviewed, followed and favourited the last chapter. It all means so much and inspires me to write more.

Another thank you to my beta ShadowDragon1317. You. Are. Awesome. Just to let you know ;)

I'm going to see Colin Morgan in Mojo in 13 days! Oh yes! (and Rupert Grint as well of course)

**I'm not going to lose you – Chapter 2**

_"Come on, clotpole." he said with a fake smile, "Let's get you home."_

Three hours later, Merlin and Arthur were still making their way through the thick forest. Without the horses, it would take at least a day to get back to their home. Arthur was taking the lead, as always, with Merlin trudging along behind him.

Arthur couldn't believe it when he had seen the great dragon alive. Knowing that it was yet another secret that Merlin had kept from him, made him wonder how many secrets his servant had. It pained him to see all of the darkest secrets just spraying out suddenly, like water in a leaky pail. All the distrust, yet even the monarch could admit it was sound. He hadn't even given those with magic a chance to explain their reasoning from using their gift. Hopefully he wasn't as hypocritical like his father was. Merlin obviously had a deep connection to the creature. Arthur had to admit, to see the dragon give his last moments to do Merlin's will and to save Arthur's life, he was sad that it had come to that. He felt for his friend as well. Merlin had suffered, and for that he was sorry.

Arthur quickly put all these thoughts to one side. He had a job to do. He had to get home. Besides, he couldn't let Merlin know he actually cared. He'd never hear the end of Merlin's annoying laugh that he does when he's right.

Merlin was only now just starting to feel the effects of the past couple days. The numbness that enveloped him from head to toe wasn't normal, was it? He has been through literally hell and back. Losing his magic and then taking care of Arthur who had been so close to losing his life, then finally Kilgharrah.

Merlin swallowed harshly, blinking back the glossy tears that were beginning to swell again. Kilgharrah. The Great Dragon. Even through all the riddles, Merlin had cherished the wise creature's help and advice. He had always been there when Merlin had truly needed him. Yes, Merlin had Gaius. But Gaius didn't know everything, and Merlin hated to admit it, but his father figure did not have many years left. In a way, Merlin felt on his own. It was up to him more than ever to protect Arthur, and in turn the city of Camelot. If only Arthur could understand the heaviness on his heart that he felt that he had caused the Dragon to die.

The stress of everything had been unbearable. Merlin was struggling, the adrenalin was wearing off and his head just felt so heavy. All he wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep. Unfortunately, Arthur felt quite well rested after his recovery, and was intent on them reaching the citadel before nightfall.

"Arthur can we rest?" begged Merlin, who couldn't feel the daggers through his calves anymore. "Please?" He tripped over a tree root in the ground and almost toppled onto Arthur. In turn, the monarch retorted sarcastically, as per usual.

"Stop being such a girl, Merlin" Arthur replied, continuing to walk at a brisk pace. What was it about Merlin that he had to trip over everything? Was it that his magic unsteady or something? Or is this just Merlin being the clumsy fool he is? "It will only be a few hours longer and then we'll be back where we belong."

"In Guinevere's arms you mean!" Merlin retorted trying to lighten the mood he was in. He couldn't take much more of this. His pants became more laboured and hard. And each breath passing through his lips hurt his ribs and made his head swim. He could feel his skull pound like he did when the drums announce that another sorcerer had been slaughtered by chopping block.

"Merlin!" warned Arthur, the threat being left unsaid. He stepped up the pace again. Merlin was right; he did want to be in Guinevere's arms again. What was he to deny such a luxury? He was the bloody king!

Arthur suddenly raised a hand as he heard a rustling in the bushes, indicating for Merlin to stop. Unfortunately, Merlin didn't notice the gesture and promptly bumped into Arthur's back, causing the king to stumble forward. All Arthur heard was mumbled 'sorry' as he straightened himself up.

"Merlin!" Arthur hushed. "I hear something." Whilst they had paused in their journey, Merlin took the opportunity to rest against a nearby tree. If only he could just stop for a minute or two.

"Sire?" said a hoarse voice from a distance that Arthur couldn't recognize. Heavy footsteps padded the pair's direction.

"Who's there?" the king demanded, placing a hand on the hilt of his sword.

Percival immediately came through the bushes to make himself known. He looked worn and tired, and both Merlin and Arthur could tell that the strong man had been crying, as his eyes were laced red and puffy. No wonder his voice had been so hoarse. Something was wrong.

"Percival?" asked Merlin as he forcefully pulled himself away from the tree towards the knight. He laid his hand on Percival's shoulder. "What's happened?"

Pure, deep grief showed up in Percival's eyes. "Gw...Gwaine….he…" Percival couldn't finish, he choked on the words, but everyone present knew what must have happened. Morgana.

Merlin couldn't believe it. How could Gwaine be gone? His best friend. The drunken man you just had to know and laugh with. He tried desperately to keep his tears from falling. His knees wobbled so much, and the warlock felt as stretched thin as parchment paper.

Arthur stepped forward, an arm reaching out to the brave knight in comfort. "Percival, I'm sorry." Arthur started, trying to keep his own emotions in check. He couldn't appear to be weak, he wouldn't. "He was good man and a great friend. Rest assured he will be honoured for all that he has done. If it is any help, my friend, Morgana is dead. She can't hurt anyone anymore."

Not wanting to dwell on the topic, Arthur set his mind to getting home. "Percival?" Arthur questioned, "You don't happen to have any horses nearby by any chance, do you?"

The knight took a while to calm himself. "Gwa…." he stopped, "We left them not two hours from here. I started to follow your trail hoping to find you, Sire."

"We are lucky you did, Percival. Thank you." Arthur replied, relieved that he didn't have to hear Merlin's complaining any longer.

Whilst they had been talking, Merlin had gone back to leaning against the tree. His legs were struggling to support his weight. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Merlin feared that he was becoming as frail as Dragoon.

"Merlin!" called out Arthur, interrupting Merlin's peace. The king was clearly indicating that he should get a move on.

Merlin pulled himself away from the tree yet again, only this time his legs felt like jelly. They were shaking from trying to keep him upright. "Arthur…." He said warningly as his legs buckled beneath him and he landed on the hard forest floor. The shock from the fall travelled up his body causing him to wince.

Arthur spun around at his name only to see Merlin on the ground, supporting himself with his arms. "Merlin, we don't have time for this!" said an annoyed Arthur.

Merlin groaned. "Arthur, please. I can't." His head was pounding. God he was so tired. The numbness had stretched to his blood, and he couldn't even move without the thought of fainting.

"Can't what, Merlin?" the king said rolling his eyes.

"Walk." he said quietly with embarrassment. Now he was just proving to Arthur how useless the king thought he was. The usual, as if the past few days after Camlann never existed. But how Merlin wished he could grasp those days again. Gwaine, Kilgharrah, and even Mordred. The warlock even missed the boy whose life he saved all those years ago. All of them dead because of Morgana, and in turn, himself. But he had no time to dwell upon grim topics, as the King was glancing at Merlin with worry breaking his calm mask.

It suddenly registered with Arthur how tired his servant must be. Merlin had tried to tell him, but as usual, he hadn't listened. He was ashamed that he hadn't thought about Merlin sooner. Now he was proving to Merlin how much of prat his servant thought he was.

Feeling guilty, he gestured to Percival, and both him and the knight grabbed either side of Merlin, and hauled him to his feet. He was so light. He needed to gain more weight; that was certain. Now Arthur could help Gaius pester the servant to get him to eat something.

"Come on, clotpole!" encouraged Arthur, trying to return to their normal banter. The quicker they got home, the quicker he could see Gwen.

"Quit using my word." mumbled Merlin in reply. It made Arthur sigh. That even in his precarious situation, he could still crack a joke that made everyone flash a grin.

Percival chuckled quietly at the banter, but still had the sad look in his eyes. Merlin and Arthur shared a look, knowing they had at least partly cheered up their friend. It wasn't going to be easy losing Gwaine. And it will never be easy to live their lives without him either.

Two hours later, they arrived at the place where Gwaine and Percival had left the horses. Merlin now was leaving it all down to his two friends to support him. His eyes were closed as his head lolled on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur was glad he might be able to rest when the trio returned home. Merlin needed a few days to recover from his ordeal as well.

"Do you have any water, Percival?" asked Arthur, getting worries about Merlin. "I don't want him to get dehydrated."

Percival quickly handed over his water skin that was attached to his belt. There wasn't a lot left, but whatever it was, Merlin could have it. He needed it more than either of the knights.

Merlin subconsciously drank the water, finishing the drink. Arthur could tell he wanted more, but there was none left for them to give him. As soon as they could get him back to Gaius the better. Then all they had to worry about was the repairs to those wounds that Camlann tore open once again, and to consult the families of the dead.

They would get up and walk forward. Like Camelot always has.

"We need to get him up on the horse." continued Arthur after Merlin had finished the last of the precious liquid.

Percival handed Merlin completely to Arthur and went to grab the reins of the nearest horse. Percival didn't say that it was Gwaine's. "Here, Sire, you get on first and then I'll lift Merlin up after."

Arthur gratefully switched Merlin for the horse and mounted. Once he was situated on the saddle, he held out his arms ready to accept his friend onto the horse with him.

Merlin groaned in his sleepy state, not aware of being heaved up onto a horse in front of Arthur. There wasn't much room in the saddle, but Arthur made sure that his servant was comfortable. Hell, his _friend_.

Percival followed suit and mounted his horse as soon as Merlin was safe in Arthur's arms. It felt strange that Gwaine wasn't going back with them. It wasn't right. Gwaine was the person he was closest to, and now he was gone. No more of his endless drunken ravings at the tavern, no more of his endless, humourless jokes that made the other knights smile about how hopeless he was.

"Forgive me, my lord." said Percival, "But about Gwaine." Percival took a deep breath as he struggled with his emotions, tears threatening to fall once more. His quiet, deer-like intensity had all but vanished since Gwaine's untimely passing. "He is still where I left him after Morgana….." he trailed off, thinking about what animals may have at him.

"Do not worry, Percival." answered Arthur sincerely. "As soon as we get back to Camelot, I will immediately send someone to get him. He will not be left behind."

With that, they raced back to the castle the fastest they could with an unconscious Merlin. Now they had horses, it would only take them three hours more to get home. Home to Camelot, where Albion was just beginning to surface between the cracks torn open by the war against the sorceress Morgana.

**Hope you all liked it! It would be great to have your feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Thank you to all the reviews, follows and favourites, they all mean so much.

A special thank you once again to my beta ShadowDragon1317. As I have said before, you are awesome, I couldn't do it without you.

Also, one week until I see Mr Colin Morgan in Mojo!

On with the story…

**I'm not going to lose you – Chapter 3**

_With that, they raced back to the castle the fastest they could with an unconscious Merlin. Now they had horses, it would only take them three hours more to get home. Home to Camelot, where Albion was just beginning to surface between the cracks torn open by the war against the sorceress Morgana._

Eventually, they came across the tall towers of Camelot, the sun shining off the white stone. The courtyard was busy with citizens of the city bustling around doing their daily chores. All of them, awaiting news of their king. After the Queen had come back from Camlann alone, with no answer as to what had happened at the battle, everyone was hoping for the safe return of their ruler. All of them were biting their fingertips down to nubs in frantic worry. Arthur had done many things for the people of the kingdom, and never had they felt so cared for and protected. Uther had never treated them like the people the citizens were. Only like livestock. And now they all longed for him to walk through the gates of Camelot, the unwavering, strong, and vigilant man who made equality a possible dream.

Percival and Arthur swiftly approached the entrance of the citadel, Merlin safely gripped in Arthur's arms. Merlin had stirred a few times in the journey, but mainly had remained unconscious, which worried Arthur deeply. He felt the urgent need to get him to Gaius as soon as possible. He could be ill and Arthur wouldn't even know.

As they rode through the streets on their horses, many men, women and children gathered around, rejoicing their arrival. People quickly moved aside to let their leader and his companions through, many of them wearing faces of shock once the people started noticing the limp body of the servant in front of the king. Most of them knew Merlin. He was a friend to everyone, and always helped out the best he could to anyone in need. And he never turned anyone away, no matter what the task they presented him with.

"Percival." Arthur said, getting the knight's attention "Please go to Guinevere and let her know that we have returned. I must see to Merlin and get him to Gaius." He longed to be with his wife, but at this present moment, Merlin needed him more.

"Of course, Sire." Percival replied with a nod, and promptly set his horse at a trot towards the main doors of the castle. The white brick shimmered in sunlight, trying to look like the beautiful and enchanting place that children heard about in fairy tales. Percival had a small smile when he remembered when Gwaine first told him of Camelot. That is when the grin vanished, sadness retaking its prickly grasp on the silent knight. But even though he still was distraught with the loss of Gwaine, he was glad to be giving his queen the news of the safe return of King Arthur.

Arthur steered his horse with one hand, the other holding Merlin, to the nearest guard and gestured for him to help his servant down. Immediately, a second guard came to help as Arthur lowered himself from his horse onto the cobbled stones. When he faced the guards, Merlin was now supported by the first guard, each arm underneath the boy's armpits, bearing the boy's weight.

Arthur turned to the second guard who had helped Merlin down off the horse. "Please inform the appropriate people that a party needs to be sent out for the body of Sir Gwaine. Arrangements also need to be made for a proper funeral." Arthur eyes welled and his throat tightened. "We shall give him the highest honour possible. Please make sure to consult Sir Percival and do as he wishes. He will most likely want to lead out the party." After everything, Percival should be consulted. After all, he had known Gwaine best.

Arthur then proceeded to pick up Merlin from the first guard; his hands under his friend's knees and across his back, and made his way to Gaius's chambers.

Arthur burst through the door with a bang, startling the old man who was sitting with his head in his hands at the table.

Gaius instantly stood up, his mouth open in shock. Arthur Pendragon, who had been stabbed with a sword forged in dragons breath was now standing in his room. The physician couldn't believe his eyes. Only on further inspection, did Gaius see who the king held in his arms.

"Merlin!" whispered Gaius in alarm, quickly going into physician mode. "Sire, quickly, put him on the table. The old man hurriedly checked Merlin's pulse, looked under his closed eyelids and then scanned his body for and injuries. He relaxed seeing all was well with the man who he thought of as a son.

"Will he be alright Gaius?" asked Arthur, concern evident in his voice.

Gaius looked up at the king from where he had been caring for his ward. "He will be sire," he stated. "I simply believe he has exhausted himself. However, I will wake him and get him to eat something. He needs all the strength he can get after such an event."

Arthur was relieved that Merlin was okay. His thoughts once again were of Guinevere. Percival must have told her he was here by now. She would want to see him. Arthur glanced at the door. "I need to go a see Guinevere, Gaius." he said, "Please send for me at once if anything changes." He glanced at Merlin one more time and then turned to leave the room.

"Of course, Sire." the physician nodded in understanding. "Sire." Gaius called back. Arthur turned around. "It's good to see you." Arthur smiled and returned to his task of finding Guinevere.

Gaius placed smelling salts under Merlin nose and he awoke with a start, immediately sitting up on the table on which Arthur had placed him before running off to see his wife.

"Ugh! Gaius!" exclaimed Merlin, seeing his father figure staring down at him. He instantly felt a bit of bread being shoved into his hand.

"Eat." Gaius ordered, leaving no room for Merlin to argue, and went about tiding up his room. Old beakers and bottles were stacked neatly on shelves and old books returned to the shelf whence they came.

Recognizing the tone, Merlin began to chew the food he had been given.

"Kilgharrah's gone Gaius." Merlin said suddenly, "He didn't make it."

Gaius looked up from where he was. "Oh, my boy. I'm sorry." The physician walked back over to his ward, comforting the boy with a hug. "Perhaps it was his time. He had lived a very long life."

"He told me to take care of Aithusa." Merlin stated, his head hung guiltily in his hands "I don't know if I can." How could he care for Aithusa after everything? How could he fix the harm Morgana had caused? Those scars have been woven when she was only a year old, and it's been so long since she hatched.

"You are still the last dragonlord, Merlin. And Aithusa is the last dragon now. She needs you to guide her. You can do it, my boy."

"Gaius?" mumbled Merlin, "Where's Arthur?" He couldn't talk about Kilgharrah anymore, it hurt. Too much. If he focused on Arthur, everything would be okay. He'd learned to just pour his worries and hurts into his work so it didn't feel like much until time has partially closed the wound ripped open by loss. Hopefully Gaius didn't realize what he was doing.

Unfortunately, he did. "He's gone to see Gwen." replied Gaius, worried about the quick change of subject.

Upon getting his answer, Merlin got to his feet and started towards the door, only to have Gaius suddenly block his path. He moved fast for an old man. Really fast.

"And where exactly do you think you're going, my boy?!" said Gaius, his eyebrow raised and his hand placed against the door to stop his ward from leaving.

"To Arthur?" Merlin question uncertainly. Where else would he be going? It's not like he was running across the sea and back! Honestly, sometimes the people who cared for him forgot that Merlin could take care of himself. He didn't need a mother hen enveloping him all the time, the senseless clucking and pecking at him to eat more and dress warmly. It's like how they treat Arthur!

"I think not!" said Gaius, "You need to rest and replenish your energy." He turned his ward around and pushed him forcefully towards his bedroom door.

Merlin turned back around to face his guardian. "Gaius, I'll be fine." he started, "I'll just give myself a magic boost."

"Merlin!" Gaius reprimanded, "I've told you not to use your magic for such trivial things. You should rest just like any other normal person does." He was not going to let Merlin get lazy and start using his magic for everything.

"Ah, but I'm not normal." Merlin said with a mischievous grin, his eyes flashed and he headed out the door on his way to the throne room where Arthur and Gwen would be.

"You'll crash out later when you least expect it!" the old physician yelled knowingly after Merlin. _Honestly, this boy attracts more danger than Arthur did magical enchantments, _Gaius thought with the tiniest of smiles on his aged, wrinkled face.

**Hope you all liked it. I'm really looking forward to getting the next chapter up. It's with my beta, so keep a look out.**

**Please leave a review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Here's another chapter!

Thanks to my beta, you do an amazing job. I'm so lucky to have you.

Only 2 days until I see Mr Morgan again! Mojo is amazing, if you have the chance, please do go and see it!

Enjoy!

**I'm not going to lose you – Chapter 4**

_"You'll crash out later when you least expect it!" the old physician yelled knowingly after Merlin. Honestly, this boy attracts more danger than Arthur did magical enchantments, Gaius thought with the tiniest of smiles on his aged, wrinkled face._

"Guinevere!" Arthur yelled ecstatically when he rushed through the doors of the throne room. Percival had just been talking to Gwen when she turned her head at the sound of her husband's voice. It was him. It was really him. Relief spread all over her face, her smile just kept growing and growing. Gwen found her feet quickly, moving towards him and when she finally reached him, she clung on tightly to his shirt with all the strength she had, not wanting to let him go. He was home. He was alive. Nothing else mattered at the moment.

"Arthur, I'm so glad you're okay." she mumbled; her face still buried into Arthur's chest. The Queen inhaled, even the smell of her spouse was warm and welcoming. Arthur returned the embrace, he was so glad to finally have his queen safe in his arms once more. He felt like he should never let her go. Both royals had tears flowing as they eventually parted, staring into each other's eyes.

"I thought I had lost you." Gwen whispered, her voice light as candlelight, "Leon said that they couldn't find you, and I…I" her breathing halted, the memory of thinking him dead too horrible to remember.

"Shhh." Arthur hushed as he pulled her in close again, his hand stroking her hair and brushing it through with his fingers. "I'm here now, thanks to Merlin." he paused. "All though, don't tell him I said that, he'd never let up about it." he heard Guinevere giggle and he pulled away to look at her once again. It was good to see her happy and smiling. She was never meant to look upset or unhappy, as her smile was worth more than any jewel.

Gwen's face suddenly changed to worry. "Merlin!" she said in alarm as she remembered, "Percival, he said he was unconscious. What happened? Is he okay?"

"Gaius assures me he will be fine." Arthur said with a reassuring smile, "He just exhausted himself, the idiot." the last few words mumbled incoherently.

"By using magic?" she questioned curiously, she wanted to know more about the newly found out warlock and what he had done, especially about how he saved her husband.

Arthur looked confounded about her answer. "How did you know he has magic?" he was completely stunned. How did she know? Did everyone know? Was Arthur really that oblivious compared to everyone else?

"I guessed. Gaius confirmed it." the queen paused, "He was sorcerer on the cliff. Merlin defeated the Saxons."

"I know. Who knew a clumsy, useless servant could be so powerful?" Arthur comically commented.

"Hey" they heard yelled from the doorway, "I'll have you know, I'm actually not that clumsy. Just that my feet aren't as magical as the rest of me!"

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, watching his servant as he almost tripped over his feet (again) as he came towards them._'Yeah, he's not clumsy at all.' Arthur thought._ "Aren't you supposed to be resting!" he reprimanded. Gaius wasn't here, so Arthur had to remind Merlin to actually keep himself in good health. He was fairly certain the physician would not have allowed Merlin to wonder around the castle, not in his servant's current state.

"Oh, I'm fine" insisted Merlin with his usual grin, and Arthur rolled his eyes at the comment.

"Well, you didn't look fine earlier." he mumbled in reply. Arthur didn't like thinking about the terrible state Merlin was in such a short time ago.

Gwen decided enough was enough. "Merlin, I'm so glad you're alright." she interrupted, embracing the warlock in a hug. Merlin was left to awkwardly hug her back, while trying not to cough and hack at not being able to breathe. "Thank you, Merlin." Gwen said looking him in the eyes, sincerity lacing her eyes.. "Thank you for bringing him home. I was so scared I was going to have to do it all on my own."

"Guinevere, you were born to be queen of Camelot." Arthur said truthfully, "You would have been a great leader of the people. You are the great leader of the people. You inspire , you are the rock we all lean on, and the only one I truly support to lead Camelot."

"No. Not that, Arthur." Gwen replied hesitantly, her face as red as an apple.

Arthur's forehead furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" What would else would she have had to do all on her own?

Gwen was scared, but this time for a completely different reason. How was she supposed to tell him? How would he react? But she had to speak now, before courage fled. She braced herself and went for it. "I would have had to raise our child all on my own."

A moment passed, a lifetime. Not a breath, not even a sound echoed in the corridor. Arthur just stood with mouth hung open. What? He couldn't believe what he was hearing. An impossibility, another secret just revealed. "You… You're…You're pregnant?" he stuttered.

Gwen smiled, tears spilling over now. "Yes, Arthur, I'm pregnant."

His breathing became labored and hard. Each pant took a year away from his life. Spots started to block out his vision and Arthur's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he promptly fainted, landing in a heap on the floor of the throne room.

Merlin took his opportunity looking down at his king, "Wait a minute, so he can march head first into a battle zone and not bat an eyelid, but when he hears the word 'pregnant', he faints." Merlin laughed. "And he calls me a girl!"

"Merlin!" she chastised. Gwen went to kneel beside her husband on the floor. "Arthur." she exasperation and tiredness in her tone. She placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a slight shake, "Arthur!" Nothing except an unconscious king.

Merlin came down by her side and joined her. "Let me, Gwen." he said gently, kneeling next to the Once and Future King. He slapped Arthur hard around the face, then began tapping his cheek. "Let's have you lazy daisy!"

Arthur hand immediately came up to swat Merlin's arm away. "Merlin!" he mumbled defensively, but with a hint of grogginess.

"Arthur." Gwen said, reminding him that she was there.

Everything came back to Arthur in a flash. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Remembering what his wife had just said, Arthur quickly bolted up into a seating position. "I'm going to be a father?!" he asked, a certain shaky nervousness that Merlin had never heard in his best friend before.

Gwen laughed, finding Arthur's jittery nervous nature quite cute. "Yes!" she said with a smile.

Arthur beamed at the news and he slowly got to his feet (with the help of his wife that is.) He thought for a few moments, "An heir to the throne of Camelot! A new prince!" he said excitedly.

"Or princess!" Merlin interjected, letting Arthur know that he's still alive.

"Shut up, Merlin!" said Arthur, who then thought for a second about his manservant. "Hang on a minute." He looked back at Merlin suspiciously. He raised an eyebrow coily "You don't seem surprised by this revelation."

Merlin gulped, the nervousness of a deer apparent to the king and his wife. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sire." The servant's eyes darted around the room, looking everywhere but the king's general direction.

"Merlin!" Arthur warned, stepping closer to his friend who was so obviously lying. It was the singular thing that Merlin couldn't fix with his magic, which made him all the more embarrassed at his lack of skill at making up false information.

"Okay," Merlin confessed slowly, "So I might have known." he shrugged innocently.

Gwen gasped, "How?" she was shocked , and put a hand on her belly in defense. "I only found out from Gaius a few days ago. I haven't told a soul until now!"

Arthur suddenly realised Guinevere knew before they went to Camlann! They were certainly going to talk about that later., not in front of Merlin of course. He turned back to Merlin with a questioning eyebrow that could easily match Gaius's.

"I could tell." Merlin admitted, wringing his fingers in his hands. He was very conscious of the looks he was getting from both Gwen and Arthur. They didn't understand him, which made the warlock sigh.

"That still doesn't answer the question, Merlin!" warned Arthur. "How?"

"I could sense it," he said slowly, "with my magic." It felt weird to Merlin to say it out loud, especially in front of Arthur. So many years, it was going to be hard to break this habit of not mentioning it.

"So let me get this straight, Merlin." Arthur reasoned, "You knew my wife was pregnant, yet you still let her come with me to Camlann!"

"Arthur!" Gwen interrupted, cross with his accusation. "Merlin wasn't here, remember! Anyway, it was my choice. I wanted to be with you. You could have died. You almost did."

Arthur calmed down, realising Gwen was right. He turned back to his servant. "Alright, you're off the hook this time, Merlin. This time."the last two words were strained. A nod of the head and a stern look later and the king turned away. He again went to face Gwen giving her a glance that said 'We'll talk later', and she nodded in response.

Merlin abruptly stumbled, almost falling towards Arthur.

"Merlin?!" he queried, grabbing hold of his friend's shoulders to keep him upright. He quickly realised his friend's sudden change in state. His face had gone as white as a sheet, and he was looking at him through half open eyelids. "I told you! You should have been resting!"

"I'm fine" replied Merlin, shrugging Arthur's hands away. His eyes flashed bright gold once more, but Merlin could tell it hadn't worked. He blinked as his vision swam and he felt his knees go weak. "Damn." Merlin muttered as he fell into unconsciousness once more.

**It might be a while before I update again. The next chapter isn't written yet and I'm fairly busy at work at the moment. Sorry in advance for the delay.**

**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Soooo so sorry about the delay. Please don't hate me! *hides behind laptop*

Thank you so much to Compliment Giver for being a beta for me!

Wow this chapter was hard. I really should plan out my stories more. Enjoy!

**I'm not going to lose you – Chapter 5**

_"You'll crash out later when you least expect it!" The old physician yelled knowingly after Merlin. _'Honestly, this boy attracts more danger than Arthur did magical enchantments.' _Gaius thought with the tiniest of smiles on his aged and wrinkled face._

Gaius looked up as the door to his chambers burst open. '_Not again!' _he thought.

Arthur entered carrying Merlin in his arms once more.

"Gaius, he's collapsed again. He said he was fine, but I knew he wasn't. I knew I should have sent him back to you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Arthur." Gaius quickly moved to Arthur and gave his ward a check over. "You foolish boy!" he scolded to the unconscious warlock, "I warned you!"

"I guessed you hadn't given him the okay to come and see me." said Arthur knowingly, looking down at the servant in his arms.

"No I hadn't." Gaius confirmed, "Take him to his room, sire. He'll just have to sleep it all off. His body has to recover on its own, no matter how much Merlin thinks he can use magic."

Arthur made his way towards the small room at the back of Gaius' chambers belonging to Merlin. He kicked his foot at the door awkwardly with his servant still in his arms and went in to lay him down on the bed. "Idiot." Arthur muttered as he turned and left the sleeping warlock.

Arthur still wasn't quite sure what to do about Merlin; having found out about his magic and some of the things he had done, how was he supposed to deal with it all? There was still a lot more to talk about. How much exactly had Merlin done for him? What had he needed to sacrifice? Oh well, it would have to wait for 'idiot' to be up and about again.

Arthur made his way back to the main chamber to find Gaius at the table fixing something for Merlin to eat when he awoke. "You must excuse me, Gaius, Guinevere and I need to talk."

"Of course, Sire." Gaius had a feeling he knew what that would be about. He had only told Gwen just before Camlann that she was with child. She had sworn him to secrecy until it was over as she didn't want anyone to worry over her. He had cautioned her against it, but she was adamant she needed to be at Arthur's side. He hoped Arthur would go easy on her.

Knowing Gwen would probably have gone to their chambers by now, Arthur immediately headed in that direction. Merlin had distracted him, but now that he thought about it he still couldn't believe that he was going to be a father. Was he even going to be a good father? His own father had been very strict when the king was a child. Arthur had felt so alone and afraid of the man. He promised himself that he was going to be different; he was going to love and spend time with his child, as well as teaching him or her the ways of the kingdom and how to treat the people well.

Arthur reached his chamber door and knocked lightly as he entered.

"Guinevere?"

Gwen was sat on the bed patiently waiting her husband's return. She was worried. The queen knew he would not be happy with her decision to go Camlann when she had known she was pregnant. Gwen had only done it because she was afraid she would lose him and would never see him again.

Seeing her husband walk through the door, she stood and ran to him, grabbing his hand in her own. "Arthur, I'm so sorry! I know I shouldn't have gone, but I dreaded the idea of losing you. I would have had the kingdom to run all on my own, well, I would have had help obviously, Gaius, and Leon,"

"Guinevere…"

"…and the other knights of the round table, and-"

"Guinevere!"

Gwen eyes suddenly went wide as her husband cut her off and came to the realization that she had regressed into her old habit of talking non-stop when she was nervous.

"Oh, Arthur, I'm sorry."

Arthur's hand cupped her face. "Stop apologising." he whispered. "I understand." His arms wrapped around her body and embraced her tightly.

"Guinevere, I… uh….I didn't get a chance to talk to you earlier. I don't know if Percival mentioned about…Gwaine." Arthur choked on his words.

"It was Morgana wasn't it." Gwen said knowingly, she could see her husband struggling.

Arthur simply nodded.

She couldn't believe Gwaine was gone. It felt like only yesterday when the man had stopped her in the lower town and presented her with a flower. With his charming smile and great wit, he would be dearly missed by them all.

Gwen felt herself tearing up. She couldn't seem to control it. The past couple weeks, she had found herself crying for no apparent reason and at every small thing. The news about Gwaine had her sobbing all over again. She couldn't bear to think about how it had happened and only took comfort in the fact that Gwaine would be at peace.

"Is Merlin okay?" the queen mumbled into Arthur's shirt.

"He will be." Arthur replied, "Gaius said he just needs to sleep it off." He pulled away and led his wife to sit on the bed. He had been on his feet all day. It was nice to feel the softness of the mattress. Part of him wished he could just flop down and go to sleep right then and there but the logical part of his mind screamed that such an action would be improper.

"I'm relieved. He had me scared for a moment there." said Gwen. "I still can't believe he has magic."

Arthur ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "How do I approach this Gwen? What do I do?"

Gwen's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean? You don't have a problem with him having magic, do you?" She paused at the look on his face then said simply. "Arthur he's your friend."

"No, Gwen. No!" he exclaimed, "How could you think that?

Gwen shrank back ashamed. "Arthur, I.. I didn't mean." Tears started welling up in her eyes again, and she hastily went to wipe them away, sniffing. "Oh… I don't know what's up with me. I'm just so emotional lately. Although, Gaius did warn me that it would happen."

'_Nine months of this!' _thought Arthur, '_God help me!'_

"I'm sorry, Gwen. I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. I'm just tired, and I don't know what to do." Arthur didn't know where to start. Perhaps the years of magic being outlawed and thought of as evil and dangerous. Or maybe the many years of built up hatred. How could he suddenly change the views of the people of Camelot? How could he change what was seemingly set in stone?

"It's getting late, Arthur." said Guinevere, "Why don't we sleep on it? I'm sure Merlin will be awake in the morning, and we can all sit down and discuss it all together with Gaius, and the other knights who are close to Merlin as well."

"Your right, as always." said Arthur as he smiled at his beautiful wife.

**It's short, I know and I'm sorry. I just to get something down.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

New year's day and I just end up writing and writing. I'm hoping this long chapter makes up for the short one last time.

ShadowDragon1317 is back! Superb job yet again, thank you so much.

I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

**I'm not going to lose you – Chapter 6**

_"Your right, as always." said Arthur as he smiled at his wife. Gwen felt her heart flutter like a bird as she saw the smile Arthur gave her. It made her almost cry with relief that she wasn't deprived of her one true love. She fell asleep near his strong arms, feeling whole for the first time in weeks._

As Arthur opened his eyes the next morning, he saw his wife sleeping soundly, facing away him. He suddenly felt such relief in knowing this was now his future. The kingdom was finally now at peace. Sure, they had the aftermath of the battle to overcome, the many deaths would be a great loss, but the strength and the perseverance of all the citizens would bring them through. It always had in the past, and always will in the future to come. The king lay there, just enjoying the quiet misty morning.

Gwen started to stir beside Arthur, and she gradually turned herself over to face him. She moved over and snuggled into his embraced, enjoying the warmth of his body. She breathed in and smelt the rustic scent that always reminded her of her home inside the blacksmith's cottage. But after a few minutes, Gwen spoke in a small voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Arthur, you awake?" she asked with a smile. "Are you alright? I was sure you'd be in a rush to get to Gaius' chambers to see Merlin by now. They'll be waiting for you you know."

"I know. I was just taking pleasure in the fact that the war is over, I have a magnificent kingdom to run, and a gorgeous wife by my side." he replied sweetly, kissing her on the lips. "It's all I could ever ask for."

"But you still have to figure out what you're going to do about Merlin?" Gwen reminded, with her sad deer-like eyes looking at him in worry "He's not going to know which way to turn, Arthur. Magic is against the law. And you know he's terrified of what the people might do to him if they discover his secret, although he's given them so much in a heartbeat."

Still, even after sleeping on the issue, Arthur still didn't know what to do. He couldn't just suddenly change a law. Even by a decree, the people would think Morgana's come back from the dead to strike revenge upon Camelot's citizens. Besides, half the kingdom and seen the destruction that Morgana had caused multiple times. No matter how hard you could try, things couldn't change overnight. Not even things that were set in stone.

"I think it's time to go and visit our friend." Arthur rolled over the sheets to his feet and was changing his clothes when Gwen thought of what her husband had said. Gwen smiled hearing her husband refer to Merlin as a friend. It was all going to work out somehow, she just knew it. It always will in the end.

* * *

Gaius was sat by his ward's bed, waiting for the young man to wake up. The physician had to laugh at the boy's stubbornness. Merlin was always too worried about other people and never stopped to look after himself. At least now he had finally gotten the rest he deserved. Albeit forced.

Hearing a moan from the bed, the old man turned his attention to his ward. A grin was making an appearance on his aged face, no matter how much Gaius tried to stifle it.

"Merlin?" he asked, and placed a hand on the top of his head. "It's time to wake up."

Another moan escaped the young warlock's lips. "Ow, my head!" Merlin raised his hands and rubbed vigorously at his eyes. His blue eyes, unused to the light, stung from the sudden outburst of the sun's rays peaking in through his window. He squinted around the room as he waited for his eyes adjust to the daylight. "What happened? What time is it? The last thing I remember I was in the throne room with Arthur and Gwen."

"Relax, my boy." said Gaius, keeping Merlin on the bed with a hand to the shoulder. "You feinted, which I warned you about by the way, and Arthur brought you here. I imagine despite the headache, you're feeling much better"

"Thanks for the 'I told you so', Gaius." Merlin sarcastically spoke in reply as he grimaced in pain, "Can I have something for my headache now?"

"Of course." said the physician, tapping the boy on the arm and getting to his feet. "I'll just be a moment."

Merlin could hear the clinking of vials and Gaius set about finding the right pain reliever. After hearing a few 'tut tut's' from his guardian, Merlin thought about his king. He wondered if Arthur would come to see him. But then he reprimanded himself for such a foolish notion. _What was he thinking?_ The king had just been reunited with his wife, he would want to spend the time with her, Arthur wouldn't be in a hurry to visit.

Gaius had just found the vial he was looking for when he heard a knock at the door. He had a feeling he knew who it would be. After a moment, the door inched tentatively open. And sure enough, without waiting for a reply, Arthur Pendragon poked his head around the door.

"Morning, Gaius." greeted the King, glancing around the healing chambers, "Is Merlin awake yet?"

"Indeed, Sire. I was just fetching something for his headache. He's in his bedroom."

Meanwhile, Merlin patiently waited for Gaius and was pleased when his guardian finally came through the door. His head was killing him to say the least. What he didn't expect was to see his master shortly follow after the physician. He was shocked, but then felt the relief that only comes when you know someone cares.

"Arthur, what are you doing here?" Merlin asked as he sat up and took the potion from Gaius, downing it in one gulp.

"I'd prefer to wait for everyone else." the King said as he sat down in Merlin's chair at the desk.

"Everyone else?" said Merlin worriedly. What was going on? _Who _is coming, is the question the gangly, black haired manservant was asking.

Before Arthur could reply, Gwen entered Merlin's room with Leon and Percival. Merlin looked around the room, expecting it to be filled with more, but then he was reminded that this was what was left of their large group of friends. It seemed such a small group now. It wasn't too long ago they were surrounded by a number of close friends, with Lancelot, Elyan and Gwaine. Now thanks to Morgana, they were gone. And Merlin never felt the same since they've been gone.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Gwen said apologetically, bowing a small amount to the king and his servant. "I had to find Leon and Percival."

Merlin felt a bit overwhelmed. "It… it's okay." Merlin looked to Arthur for help. _What was he supposed to say?_

"Merlin, the reason we have all come here, now you're feeling better, is to talk about your magic." As the words were spoken aloud, a sudden reaction from Leon and Percival was noticed. The two knights gasped at what they had just heard. Merlin had magic?! Was that even possible? Merlin?

Percival had known something had been up with Arthur on their journey back to Camelot. He had been very quiet, and constantly checking on Merlin. He hadn't wanted to push Arthur into talking; he himself hadn't felt like having a conversation. The only person he could think of at the time was Gwaine. But to find out now that Merlin had magic, he was shocked but surprisingly relaxed. Percival wasn't from Camelot originally. He had seen magic used for good things, and Merlin obviously didn't have any ill intent towards anyone. Plus, Arthur hadn't killed or banished him yet, so that was a good sign. Right?

Leon was flabbergasted, and slightly angry. Merlin had magic. Magic! It was evil. All the brave knight had ever seen was magic used for evil. All the sorcerers and magical creature that had attacked the kingdom in the past had only brought death and destruction. Yet weirdly enough, Arthur seemed to be okay with it. His King was sat there quite contently, waiting for Merlin's response. Maybe he would just have to trust his King's judgement for now. He was loyal to Arthur and would be until the day he died.

Merlin jumped back at the reaction of the two knights. The manservant had previously thought they might suddenly jump at him, and attempt to kill him for what he was. The young warlock could see their minds turning, and he was relieved to see both Leon's and Percival's faces relax. Merlin took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. The young warlock's heart raced a league a minute,

"Right…," started Merlin "Well… um… what do you want to know?" his stutter betrayed his fear.

"Obviously, I know about some parts of your magic already and I know Gaius knows practically everything, but for the benefit of everyone else here, why don't you start from the beginning." Arthur instructed, sternly, but not unkind.

Merlin truthfully didn't know where to start. There so many things they didn't know and he was scared they would all hate him. But he hoped that his friends would respect the choices he had made these past years. At the very least try to understand why they were made.

"This might take a while." the servant warned, uneasy at the long, daunting task his king wished him to do.

Gwen gave him an encouraging smile. "We have all the time in the world."

Merlin glanced at Gaius, eyes wide. The old physician knew this was a big moment. It was not every day you told the ruler of a kingdom hell bent on ridding the land magic, that you possessed it. Or was the greatest to walk the earth. But Gaius knew that this was for the best, for Merlin especially. "Go on, my boy."

"Well, I guess I should start with the fact that I was born with magic." Looking at their confused faces, he explained, "it's not that common, but I was using magic from day one. My mother was so afraid of someone discovering me. Being so close to the border of Camelot, the possibility of having a death sentence place on me by Uther was very real.

"When my mother finally found out that my best friend Will knew about my magic, she was so angry. But at least she understood. She wanted to protect me, so she sent me to the only other person she knew she could trust. Gaius." Merlin finished by smiling at his guardian. He was so happy to have been able to learn from the old physician and receive all the help and wisdom the old man provided.

"I remember Will." said Arthur, "He was a good man, and now I know it was you who really caused the wind that defeated Kanen and his men in Ealdor."

"That was the first time I was really close to telling you about me." Merlin admitted, slightly embarrassed at his foolish folly.

"So your mother sent you to Gaius." Gwen prompted.

"Yes." Merlin continued after regaining his train of thought, "My mother was scared someone else might find out, and also, at that point I couldn't quite control my magic, it was instinctual. It would happen without my even thinking about it."

Gaius chuckled, "Which is how he came to save my life the first day we met."

"How?" asked Percival curiously.

"Merlin came through the door, and when I turned to see who it was who had entered my chambers, the banister broke and I fell." "My magic just acted up" interrupted the young warlock, "It slowed his fall so I had enough time to move the bed from the other side of the room."

Leon was shocked, "Wow." Suddenly realising what he what he had said, he looked down to the floor. He was struggling with the idea that magic could be used for good.

Merlin was surprised that Leon had just spoken. After Arthur, Leon was the next person who would protect Camelot and uphold the laws. All the knight's life he had been brought up to hate magic. This must be a very difficult moment for him.

"I've saved Arthur's life more times than he can count." Merlin added with a cheeky grin. "Even with that dragon giving me riddles."

"The dragon?!" Leon suddenly tensed up, his anger boiling and fuming "You consorted with the dragon?! He killed scores of innocent people!" The knight, angry at the hundreds of friends that had been lost because of the dragon's violent rage, withdrew his sword. Merlin, frightened at Leon's sudden outburst, shrank back in fright. His eyes met with the gleaming blade as he saw his reflection. It terrified him so much, his emotional hold over his magic nearly slipped. But a spark from a burner on Gaius's shelf snapped and died on the old oak floor. Arthur, sensing the danger, took control of his knight friend.

"Leon, it's okay!" stressed Arthur, making Leon put the sword back into the scabbard, "The dragon helped to save my life after Camlann." Leon's eyes went wide in a quizzical expression.

Arthur quickly remembered one of the burning questions he had been meaning to ask his servant. Finally, the burning question making his head spin and hurt would be answered by his magical servant.

"How did you get the dragon to answer to you? The last dragonlord died years ago."

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please leave a review.**


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